Posted on July 31, 2008 by Katy

As my blog has gone on for several days now without a post I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of the blogosphere and how the Internet can change with some simple ideas that perhaps may make this a real true form of what Internet life could and maybe should be.

Bare with me, this will come back around to blogging. :o)

In all my years online, I have had a perception about Internet communities that doesn’t ever seem to change or get better. My idea all boils down to how we treat each other online. Often times, in many different communities, there is space for arguments, disagreements, anger, hostility, fights, and who did what and to whom. And the truth of the matter is that few of us actually want this kind of environment when we sit down to be online. But, by the very nature of what the Internet is, it breeds this kind of environment to treat each other any which way we please.

My concept is that because we sit here and look at a monitor (sometimes two, in my case), we see the Internet as just a screen and not a face to the person in which we’re addressing. Good, bad, or indifferent, we sometimes speak to each other in ways that we wouldn’t do if we were standing face to face with another person.

Yes, life isn’t always so peachy. Hackers are no different than the robbers who enter your home and steal your valuables. But in general, I’d like to think that when you step outside you greet a large majority of people with a ‘Hello’, smile, or nod. That if spoken to, you reply, and if treated respectfully, you give respect.

So, my question is, are we missing the possibility that online life is not real life and can we change that course to make what you do online more reflective of our real life?

Visiting a blog is the same as walking into a person’s home. Sometimes you’re visiting someone you know and feel and connection with and other times, that person is unfamiliar. If you applied visiting blogs to that of visiting someone’s home, how would you change how you act at that person’s home?

Chances are you wouldn’t say something that would get you kicked out, you’d respectfully disagree to points in a conversation, you wouldn’t act as though you had more answers than anyone else, you’d contribute to the conversation with the home owner and graciously accept drinks, a snack or perhaps a cigar. Right?

Let’s apply these thoughts to the blogosphere…

Visit and Greet

When visiting a blog for the first time, say hello! There is no down side to having your name associated with a blog that you’re happy to visit. I cannot think of a single blogger who wouldn’t approve the “Hello, first time visitor and wanted to let you know that I recently discovered your blog and have found a few posts to valuable here,” type of comment. The key however to keeping this type of comment and conversation legit is to actually read a few posts and make further comments.

Coming and going without a greeting is like walking into the store and never giving the person behind the counter a nod. I’ve been told that in France, this is considered rude.

Comments

Comments on posts are often quite similar to a cocktail party with friends. Those who frequent the blog often take note of the owner’s home, address other commentators as though they’re old friends and contribute to conversations. Should you choose to speak up, other party goers would like to have a conversation with you, are you willing to talk back?

If you were at a cocktail party with friends and were introduced to friends of friends, would you say hello and join their conversation? In real life this frequently happens and I believe that every blogger is just the medium to start a conversation and make introductions to the other party goers. Once the blogger has done that, it’s up to you to continue talking and sharing thoughts.

These principals also apply to taking part in forums.

Networking

Social networking sites are like huge conventions that serve wine. Few people actually know each other and are close friends, many of them have similar interests and find a way to communicate based on shared interests. To join in any conversation, one must be willing to find a common ground and seek conversation.

Look for people on sites that share something in common with you. StumbleUpon makes this very easy to do by telling you what you and any other user have in common based on selected tags. Get talking with people and become friends with a hello. Again using StumbleUpon, start your hello by “Stumbling their favorites,” and showing your common interests. You may attract more attention.

If you seek out conversation, keep talking. If you’re not visiting a site and making an effort you’ll be the man standing against the wall. This doesn’t get you any attention, it won’t help promote who you are, and you may find that what you felt might be effective isn’t.

Site Ranks

Like any sport or contest there are winners and there are losers but in the end, we’re all the same. Those who have won or in this case, rank high have put in the work to reach it. Those who aren’t ranking haven’t joined the game or have decided not to. If you’re not looking for the award or metal, it doesn’t mean that you have any less value to provide. But look at those in your niche who are winning the game as someone who may be willing to provide information.

On the Internet, the blogosphere is unlike any other community as generally speaking, we as bloggers seek ways to become helpful and informative. If you’re willing to learn, high ranking, industry leading bloggers are willing to tell you how they got there. You can choose to apply their principals or not but that doesn’t mean that they’re not willing to share.

Keeping with that notion, I’ll mention my pet peeve — you are not the person who won. I’m tired of those who call themselves ProBloggers and think that it is something unique. It’s not, it’s a brand of another blogger and to say that you want to be a “ProBlogger” tells me that you’re interested in recreating Darren’s success. Choose your words differently, ProBlogger is the brand of another blogger, not who you are. If you are truly interested in seeking the success that Darren has created, learn from what he is willing to teach and apply your own methodology to it. You are not ProBlogger, you are you.

Why It Matters

In a space where people come and go as they choose, there has to be something that is going to set you apart from the rest. You never know what is going to set you apart to each individual person but you wouldn’t want to project something that will always be a turn off.

Treating others how you want to be treated, creating value for your blog and readers, and socializing in a positive, productive manner will increase your visibility. Changing your words to speak as though you’re looking at a single person or group of friends will create a blogging environment that other people want to be around.

The reality is that your actions and words online are all that you have. When you are aware of your words and actions you’re only likely to create something better and have people change the descriptive words people use to talk about your brand. In the end, you’ll be rewarded as the winner — with or without the high rankings.

Your Thoughts

While indeed the blogosphere is a unique community on the Internet, have you found ways that online life does not mimic real life? Have you found who you are online is different or do you strive for the same sense of realism and friendliness online as you do offline?